Santa Claus

What Do We Really Know About Santa Claus?

I have a few questions about Santa Claus. Just general stuff. Like, where was Santa Claus born? Who was Santa Claus’s mother? Did Santa finish high school and go on to complete a college education? Did he have brothers and sisters? How long did he and Mrs. Claus date before they got married and how did the meet each other? You know. Just gossipy kind of stuff. But, it’s stuff that no one ever discusses and it might be interesting to know a little bit more about the old guy’s personal life, ya know? I mean, he’s been around for how many hundreds of years now and does anybody know HIS birthday? Do we know what HE wants for Christmas? Has anybody ever taken the time, and had enough consideration for the man to ask him if he really likes milk with his cookies or if he’d prefer a grape juice?

So, my curiosity has been getting the best of me lately. I just really can’t believe that after all the time we’ve spent letting our children sit on this guy’s lap, year after year after year, and all the times we’ve let this guy wander in and out of our homes while we’re all sleeping, that no one has thought to do a background check on Santa Claus yet. Don’t you think it’s kind of fishy that he’s always wearing gloves? And what about that red suit? Talk about the perfect disguise! There’s a guy in a red suit on every street corner at Christmas time. What an alibi!

In my guest to unmask Santa Claus, or at least trim his beard a little, I took a stroll over to my local Amazon.com shop to see if maybe they might have a book about the jolly old elf. (And that’s another thing! Elves? How old is this guy and he’s still hanging out with elves?) But, I digress. Onward I trekked to Amazon. And what to my wondering eyes should appear?!

Fify one thousand one hundred and sixty six books about Santa Claus! Fify one thousand, folks! Surely, someone, in all of those books, has thought to ask the old guy when his birthday is.

Well over 15,000 of those books are in the children’s books category, which, I suppose makes sense. Given that the guy spends all his time hanging out with kids and elves and a barn full of toys. But check this out. Almost 12,000 of those books on Santa are in the non-fiction category. Do you know what non-fiction is? It means it’s true stuff! True stuff about Santa Claus.

So I clicked on that non-fiction category because I wanted to see if anybody know this guy’s middle name. And do you know what the very first book in the Santa Claus non-fiction category is? “Santa Claus: A Biography”! OMG! I have got to have that book! And when I get done reading that one, I’m going to get “The Autobiography Of Santa Claus”! That one ought to be a real page turner!

About the Author

The author wears a Santa costume to the family Christmas party, and his wife dons a
Mrs. Santa costume to serve Christmas dinner. They are both big fans of all things “Santa”.

Santa Claus

Wilton 2308-1132 Metal Cookie Cutter Set of 18 $10.49 This metal cookie cutter set includes: snowflake, holly leaf, gingerbread girl, star, sleigh, tree, stocking, snowman, reindeer, ornament, candy cane, Santa hat, angel, bell, gift, wreath, gingerbread boy, and mitten. Each is approximately 3″. 18 cutters total. …

Wilton Mini Cookie Cutter set of 12 $5.29 Mini Metal Cookie Cutters Holiday 12 per package includes star, angel, gingerbread girl, stocking, candy cane, ornament, teddy bear, bell, holly leaf, tree, gingerbread boy, and sleigh. Each measures approximately 1.5 inches. Made of metal….

Wilton Cinnamon Drops $0.78 Sprinkles for your holidays and special occasions. Simply frost your cake, cupcakes, or cookies and sprinkle these on to add some color and fun. Try using a stencil to make fun shapes using your Wilton sprinkles. Colors vary by theme. 3 oz. shatter-proof jar. Certified Kosher. Made in USA….

My Christmas $4.30 All products are BRAND NEW and factory sealed. Fast shipping and 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed….

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White Christmas $0.23 No Description Available.Genre: Christmas MusicMedia Format: Compact DiskRating: Release Date: 7-OCT-1997…

Barney: Waiting for Santa [VHS] $14.95 This movie includes Christmas sing alongs geared towards children ages 1-8….

The Night They Saved Christmas [VHS] $9.98 …

The Rudolph, Frosty & Friends Sing Along $0.01 Sing along video featuring songs from the animated Christmas classics Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town…

Santas Polar Express Train Premium Decorative Night Light $14.99 Entire Night Light measures : 4.0″ (w) x 3.75″ (h) Image Area measures : 3.5″ x 2.75 Our premium line of superior craftmanship nightlights are individualy constructed in the United States with many features that sets them apart from other night lights on the market. Manufactured in heat resistant PVC and featuring a high impact glass front as opposed to the cheaper plastic found on other night lig…