Pinewood Derby

Build Positive Reactions from Others

Build Positive Reactions from Others               (805 wds)

by Bill Repp

Q. Many of my co-workers seem bored, distant, or even alienated. I often react by mirroring their behavior, but I don’t like being that way. How can I get people to react more positively to me throughout the day? —Hank V.

 

A. The key words are “react more positively to me…” You’re not likely to change how people feel about themselves. If they’re bored or uncaring, that’s how they’ve defined themselves.  But you can have a surprising impact on how they treat you. The principle is simple: You usually get back what you give out. So if you don’t like the way you’re reacting to people throughout the day, you can decide to change your behaviors. To put it another way, if you want more positive reactions from other people, you have to make your original action positive: give a big smile; say (and mean it) something like “Hi—how are you doing?”
Watch the Signals

It’s natural to think, “Wait a minute—why do I have to set the tone?” We have to take the initiative because most people already have defined their life patterns, and aren’t likely to change them. So if you want a specific 30-second personal interaction to be upbeat, you have to create the environment where you get the reaction you want. Watch people’s faces. Those who are really happy, joyful, and contented usually show it. (So do those who feel negative about themselves and others; their faces give them away.)

Words That Ruin
Build a positive foundation for your behavior, and you’ll influence how people react to you. In your personal interactions, try to express your wishes using positive words—even when you have to give negative messages. For example, here are some negative words and phrases to avoid.  They just naturally seem to irritate people, and are almost
guaranteed
to damagerelationships: fault, demand, inconsiderate, but, disaster, stupid, careless, failed, wrong. Example:
“The project was a failure.” “This is a careless report.”

Words That Build  

Instead, choose positive words and phrases that build people up—build their self-esteem.  Use positive-sounding words especially when you have to give instructions or express your dislike for someone’s behavior: appreciate, dependable, helpful, capable, efficient, thorough, careful, integrity,            valuable. Example: “This report was helpful; it would be even better if you added an index.”

 

Here’s an even clearer example of the effect that words can have on a relationship:

Before: “Henry, you’ve been 15 minutes late for the last three mornings.”

Better: “Henry, the fine work you do is really important to us. I notice you’ve

been coming in at about 8:15 the last three mornings. That’s not like you. Is there anything bothering you, or something I can help with?” (IfHenry saysNo, then say, “We need you here at least by 8 a.m. to answer customer questions. Can we count on you?”

(If you’d like a list of 100 positive words you can use daily, just e-mail me.)

Practice Positive Messages

Here’s a great way to test this principle, and get even more dramatic results. Tomorrow,

with the first ten people you meet, deliberately smile and greet them with a pleasant message. Try it in fast-food outlets and supermarkets—places where the clerks are notorious for being either impersonal or unfriendly. (I’ve tried this several times, and it works. I felt great afterwards, too. One day I tried it and was surprised when the servers from two fast-food restaurants asked me if I’d like a refill on my coffee!)

 

Retail clerks often hear more complaints and are subject to more unfriendly—sometimes even arrogant—behavior than most people. When customers are unhappy, angry, or frustrated in their work lives, they bring it to the grocery or department store. It’s no wonder retail clerks lose their freshness and eagerness at dealing with customers. Your positive greeting can be a welcome bright spot to them, and they’ll return the favor. Back to the principle: We get back what we give out. So if you want a positive interaction with someone for the next few seconds, project the tone you want. Go ahead. Have fun and enjoy the next person you greet.

 

Use the same principle with your co-workers.  Take the initiative to greet them and set a positive tone:

• “Hey, Jack—how ya doin’ today?”

• “Good morning!” Isn’t it great we’ve got some sunshine today?”

• “Hi Betty!  How was your weekend?”

• “Hey Bob—what’s your boy doing in Cub Scouts these days? You were

pretty proud the way you and he built the car for the Pinewood Derby!”

• “Let’s start this meeting off on an upbeat note. How about each of us

mentioning one success we’ve had on any of the projects we’re

working on?”

E-mail: billrepp@rochester.rr.com

 

 

 

 

About the Author

Professional Background–Bill Repp Bill is president of Working Best, an employee and management development firm in Rochester, NY. He has extensive experience in creating and delivering programs in leadership, management, marketing, communication, team building, and business writing. He is a seasoned manager with more than 20 years’ experience supervising people. He currently writes a weekly newspaper column, Working Best, published in 12 papers nationally. Prentice-Hall published Bill’s first book, Complete Handbook of Business English, and he wrote and published several more, including Why Give It Away When You Can Sell It? He has published more than 80 articles in publications such as AMA Management Review, The Toastmaster, Supervisory Management, Personnel Journal, and 20/20 Magazine. He was noted in USA Today and Reader’s Digest for his unique approach to time management. Bill has a B.A. in English and an M.A. in Education.

Fast Pinewood Derby Car 2008 Scout Race

EatSmart Precision Pro – Multifunction Digital Kitchen Scale w/ Extra Large LCD and 11 Lb. Capacity The EatSmart Precision Pro Digital Kitchen Scale is a versatile multifunction home appliance. Designed to be highly accurate and aesthetically pleasing, the Precision Pro is manufactured to the highest quality specifications. Weigh items up to 11 lbs quickly and accurately, with results displayed in four different units: grams / ounces / pounds / kilograms. For cooks – Weigh food items directly on…

Magnum 500 by US Balance 500 x 0.1 gram Digital Pocket Scale $15.89 The US Balance US-Magnum is a portable super compact design. With having six different weighing modes, weighing your precious products should be a breeze. During weighing operation, when weight is determined, a lock symbol will appear. Capacity: 500g/ 17.64oz/ 7716gn/ 321.51dwt/ 16.08ozt/ 2500ct Readability: 0.1g/ 0.001oz/ 2gn/ 0.01dwt/ 0.001ozt/ 0.05ct Scale: dimensions 2.875″ x 4″ x 1″ Platfo…

American Weigh AMW-1000 Compact Bench Scale, 1000 by 0.1 G $21.85 American Weigh AMW-1000 Digital Bench Jewelry Scale 1000 gram x 0.1g This scale is great for Kitchen, Home, Office, Laboratory You can weigh in four different weighing units; grams, ounces, troy ounces, or pennyweights This scale is very attractive and streamline that will not give a bulky, unsightly look on your countertop. Color of this scale would be very complimentary combined with other stain…

Live From Mt. Fuji 7 Tracks…

Live From Mt Fuji Pinewood Derby is the music of Jack Ludden brought to life by Boston musicians. Jack has been writing songs of all sorts for some time now, and Pinewood Derby is the vehicle for this music. BIYL Rilo Kiley….

How to Build a Champion Pinewood Derby Race Car [VHS] $12.49 VHS tape on how to build a champion pinewood derby race car. Secret tips on Body design, weight placement, wheel alignment, primer and paint, axels and wheels and pre-race tune-up….

How To Build Champion Pinewood Cars – A Step By Step Video Guide To Fast, Slick Derby Cars! [VHS] $19.95 …

Dry Graphite Lube 20 Oz. Spray Can – DRY GRAPHITE LUBE $8.40 Dry Graphite Lube 20 Oz. Spray Can – * Total weight: 20 oz., Net weight: 14 oz. * All position valve-sprays at all angles. * A black, oil free lubricant. * Dries quickly. * Use where a dry lubricant i…

Pine-Pro Block Kit w/Wheels & Axles PPR10046 $2.65 Simple, easy-to-build kits designed for ages 8 and up with some adult supervision. Kits contain all the necessary components for completion except paint and decals. Each is 6-1/2″ to 7″ long. Fun and easy to build, these kits will get your youngster started in woodworking. This Pine-Pro Competition Components Package is a Block Kit with Wheels and Axles….

Microfyne Graphite Lubricant, 1lb can $17.95 Extra-fine (-325 mesh) graphite for use in precision applications, such as locks, bearings, cameras, firearms action parts (recoil, bolt & trigger mechanisms), fishing reels and pinewood derby cars. An excellent conductor of electricity, this powder is used in the manufacture of conductive materials and coatings. Should not be used in ignition switches or other electrically actuated locks….